My Dearest D-Train,

You were mine. My go-to. I trusted you with my life. But, our relationship is just so hard to understand. While everything seemed so perfect at the beginning, we have had too many ups and downs. I have no idea what the future holds for us.

I accepted your flaws: your broken MetroCard machine, your constant stench, and your long distance from campus. I always came prepared with a MetroCard that had money on it as a precaution. I didn’t want the man in the corner to holler at me to buy one from him. I accepted the overwhelming smell of urine that came from within you, acting as if there wasn’t a tear in my eye from the odor. And I ALWAYS pushed through the uphill battle that was the journey to your entrance (the ~climb~ if you will). I would sweat, I would get catcalled, and sometimes I would hit every stopped crosswalk. But I did it for you.

There came a day where I realized, I couldn’t do it anymore. I know I accepted your flaws, but I just needed some time to myself. A bit of space from you.

And then something happened. It was a mistake, but I wasn’t loyal to you. I cheated. It wasn’t to hurt you, but I was in need of something you just couldn’t give me. The Metro-North was there; he welcomed me with open arms and cushioned seats. He was only a rebound. There are no real feelings between us. A one and done sort of ordeal.

I don’t mean to upset you with this news, but honesty is important and I felt you should know. None of this was done in vain. And I’m here to say I miss you. I’m sorry for not being faithful, I regret it now. I miss your character and charm. I think this time apart has done us both a favor, it has allowed us to grow. I want to come home now. I want you back.

I would do anything for one last hike up to see you, one last free trip Downtown. But I’m scared you wouldn’t want me back. I hope the people selling snacks would welcome me back with their poetic jingles. I hope the car performers would sing and dance for me again. I miss our time together, enjoying everything that was brought our way. The Metro-North couldn’t give that to me. I was always stuck in the quiet car - alone.

I miss my walk up Fordham Road. The man promoting the deals at his AT&T store never failed to try and sell me an extremely discounted phone. The lonesome speaker announcing Tattoos, tattoos, tattoos” in a soothing young woman’s voice to passerbyers always welcomed me to the off-the-grid tattoo parlour. The now-famous Jenny Nails sign reminded me of Cardi B’s reign of the Bronx. So many memorable things that I can take in every time I visit you. The Metro-North doesn’t show me that much. I see the bus riders and an occasional Christianity-preacher. That’s it. My journey to you is so fulfilling with different aspects of life. The Metro-North trip is an across campus stroll where I pass the library and the occasional black squirrel. There is nothing new to see.

You used to care for me, you would leave your Emergency exit unlocked for me to sneak through. I miss that. I want you to understand that if we do get back together, we both need to make some sacrifices. I will work on my ability to commit while you work on your accessibility. But there are times I might need to change things up. The 4-Train and I are friends, and that’s it. He’s not like the Metro-North, it’s completely platonic. So I hope we can get through this if we both work together. I know it might seem kind of early, but I love you. You may not be the most attractive form of transportation, but your personality is incomparable. I want you, all of you, for the next two and a half years.

It’s you and me until the end. I won’t leave you again.



Current, CultureJonathan Meador